Viviana's COMMUNICATIONS LAB BLOG - Mon 3:30

Ok, the word I chose to write about is telephone. The first thing I think about is the fact that although most of us can’t live without them any more, at the same time I feel like I can use it for other things, for example, I know that I am used to grab a hold of my cell phone at a party when I feel that I am not too comfortable, and even when I have nothing to do, I grab my phone and I just call anyone I know, the phone is my protection of the world when I am uncomfortable. But at least I am aware of it, and I am learning to help it most of the times.
I have had a hard time calling people, because of the way I was raised. I was raised to made believe that the phone was an interruption to people’s lives, that you should not use the phone unless you are calling someone to say something important and that you should always be short and concise on your conversations. Maybe the reason why this happened is because I was raised in a country where you get charged from the moment you pick up the phone, whether it is to call or to answer a call, no matter the reason; but I do remember all my friends spending long hours on the phone with each other and never complaining that their parents weren’t letting them do that.
But now that I think about it, this rule didn’t only apply exclusively to the telephone, it happened with my mom and her neighbors and our immediate family. I now regret the fact that I wasn’t encouraged to keep friends, and my friends didn’t want to keep me, because they knew that I wouldn’t call them or even write them back even if I was dying to do so. - – This is something else I have gotten much better at now.
Back then I didn’t think it was too abnormal that I didn’t feel like I had to write or reply back to some sort of effort that anyone had to contact me. I remember getting very angry when I didn’t hear from a far away friend. How foolish was I. But I can’t blame my mom for this behavior, she was raised this way by my grandma and for that reason, every time I hear them talk to each other, it just drives me nuts, I can’t sit there listening to both of them talk. First of all, the mere fact that even thought my mom wants to talk to her mother, and doesn’t do it very often, is very weird. Granted that my grandma lived away from my mom for about 20 years, this obviously caused some kind of detachment from each other, and it’s readily noticeably during their conversations. But even after we moved close to each family, they now talk even less.
I hate the fact that my grandma doesn’t make the minimum effort to call my mom. And that when my mom ends up talking to grandma, they are very secretive, when we go visit them, my grandma is always hiding something from my aunt, even small things, for example this candy that I told her once that I liked, but I could only find in NY, my grandma ended up bringing me a box of it, and when she was going to give it to me she pulled me aside from everyone else, and gave it to me at the same time she whispered the fact that she had bought me a WHOLE box. I appreciated the gesture, but after that time, I completely stopped eating that type of candy, and as a matter of fact, I now remember that the whole un-opened box is still sitting in the den, and the times I see it, I feel like I want to throw it away, but I can’t do it, the thought of my grandma going out of her way to buy if , and hide a WHOLE box for me keeps me from doing it. I will eventually get to this new dilemma too. From this incident, about 8 years ago (no lie).
Ok, so getting back to telephones and conversations… Another thing I wonder also is why do young mothers living off welfare get to have, and where do they get money to afford to pay for a cell phone service, when at the same time don’t have money to afford their own baby’s food or even a decent apartment, yet I see them with their nails and hair done, the latest trends, a obviously the latest cell phone on their ears, and pushing a stroller. What the heck! I want my tax dollars to go to a more useful cause, like curing aids, or paying for some people’s education!!! I feel pity for those little kids, what does the future have for them.
I remember back in the days when it was weird to have a cell phone. I bought a cell phone back then because I was traveling a lot from city to city. I remember feeling empowered to have people looking at me talk on the street, and in my car, it was a good feeling. After I got a phone, the rest of my family gradually began to have one. Obviously the last ones to get into it were my parents. My mom is still not used to the features of it, she can only dial and answer, and reading text messages or saving an important phone, forget about it. My dad got a bit better at it; he’s still taking baby steps with it. He was forced to do it since my parents got divorced. It think that the reason he is a bit more independent with some electronic things, including computers, is because he had to deal and learn them all by himself, although we did walk him through everything, and we still do.
My mother is not there yet, my sisters and I have taught her, but she’s mostly used to have someone do things for her. I always wondered what would’ve happened if the one having to go out on to the world by herself like my dad had to do, would’ve been her. maybe she would be a bit more independent of us, or maybe she would be out on the street begging for friends or talking to her mom more, who knows.